Every now and then, I enjoy the reading of books and the listening to records. Of course by "every now and then," I mean "fucking constantly." I've taken it upon myself to occasionally review said books and records as a means of clearing my brain. Let's get it going.
Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life- Steve Almond
As you can imagine, this book is about music. It is a tome dedicated to the way music acts as a catharsis in your life and in the case of folks like me, how it completely controls the way you act, think, exist. While the title of the book is cross-shaped, there is no Jesus or religion talk, aside from Almond mentioning his roots in "European Jewry." He describes what he calls the "Drooling Fanatic," the music fan for whom just knowing the songs and liking a band is not enough. The Drooling Fanatic needs to know EVERYTHING about the band or artist he or she is currently obsessing. Fanatics need to know the backstory of the song, how the band formed, why they write the songs they do. They delve into the lyrics to find some sort of deeper meaning in the songs, trying to make the words fit into their lives. Fanatics usually have no musical inclination when it comes to playing or writing music.
Almond spins yarns about discovering unknown acts, like Nil Lara in Miami, fawning over them without relent, hoping they'll making it big, and pining over why it never happened. Trying to forge a relationship over song with an un-ironically devout Air Supply fan, replete with an exegesis of their smash hit "All Out of Love," one of the books funniest moments. You can imagine how this went. The highlight of highlights is Almond attempting to get things going with a lady by playing Nick Cave's Murder Ballads album ending in spectacular failure. I feel his pain, as I once tried to set the mood by playing Local H's "Keep Your Girlfriend," which contains the gem "Keep your girlfriend away from me/ I've got no sense of camaraderie/ I've got a couple hits of ecstasy/ So keep your girlfriend away from me." The only thing I "got" that evening was to listen to the rest of the album alone. I feel your pain, Steve.
The life of the Drooling Fanatic is not for everyone, and neither is this book. If you're a casual fan, you may enjoy this book for its humour, written in a Klosterman-esque manner. If you take your music far too seriously, too anally, and music takes up no fewer than 88% of your conversation, then you are in luck. This is the book for you. I certainly was for me.
Rating: ****1/2
The Strokes- Angles
Ah, The Strokes. Possibly the 21st century's most important band. They brought back the no-frills, beer-and-cigarette clouded rock reminiscent of The Stooges and MC5. For their new record, the first since 2006's slightly disappointing First Impressions of Earth, The Strokes seem focused and actually share songwriting duties, taking some of the burden off of Julian Casablancas, which explains some of the disjointedness of several tracks. They also sincerely ape the 1980s Pop Rock scene quite ably. "Two Kinds of Happiness," the album's best track, could easily have been sung by Ric Ocasek or Peter Wolf in 1984. The lead single, "Undercover of Darkness" is classic Strokes on display. Nick Valensi & Albert Hammond, Jr's seemingly out of tune guitars carry the tune and Casablancas finds his upper register and uses it masterfully. For a record that was ostensibly so difficult to make, the results are their best record possibly since Is This It? Valensi recently stated that they'll begin work on their next album in mid-April, so we won't be waiting another five years for a follow-up.
Rating: ****
This post was typed under the influence of Alex Chilton.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Bill & Jeff's Excellent Adventure, or, Why the Original Guns N' Roses LIneup Must Reunite
It's 1978 or '79 and two kids, William Bailey and Jeff Isbell, in Lafayette, Indiana are playing in garage bands and getting busted by the local pigs. Bill drops out of high school, Jeff doesn't. Bill leaves Indiana and hitchhikes around the country, occasionally coming back to visit family. He then decides to leave for good in one of the all-time most genius moves and heads to LA. Jeff does the same, without all the hitchhiking. The play in various bands in the Los Angeles area. Then they meet a kid named Saul with a Jewfro and a penchant for tophats and Les Pauls. They form a band.
Fast forward to 1987. The popular music scene is just as lobotomized as it is today, if not more. With the exception of a few HUGE talents (Prince, Madonna, U2 et al), mainstream Top 40 radio and video is filled with vapid and vacuous "talents." Rock music is no better, to be honest. It's imbued with roving bands of fops who snorted, fucked and guzzled their way from the Sunset Strip and onto MTV (I blame you, Nikki Sixx). Then, like a saltwater crocodile stalking a dingo too close to the water's edge, Guns N' Roses emerges and proceeds to slaughter all that America thought it knew about Rock N' Roll.
The Gunners, like the aforementioned fops, came from the Strip. They also drank, fucked, and did hard drugs. What separated the Gunners from the other Sunset Strip bands was two things: songwriting and attitude. My guess would be that 99% of those bands wrote happy, catchy songs about girls and getting/being famous and money. Guns did not. They may have written about girls, like "Sweet Child O'Mine," the token ballad written for Axl's girlfriend Erin Everly; it was (and still is) a great tune with one of music's most memorable riffs. Then there was "My Michelle," a riff with so much testosterone that all the world's testicles combined cannot equal. Written about a friend of the band named Michelle who, upon hearing Elton John's "Your Song," wanted a song written about her. And the song is true. Junkies, porn stars, dead mothers, it's all true. In case you hadn't heard. Guns wrote about the shitty side of LA, sort of a Straight Outta Compton for white people. And they rightfully took over the fucking planet. They also struck the first blow to Hair Metal, as no one else had the chops or the balls to do what the Gunners did. They were too blues, too heavy, too punk.
Over the next six years, no one was bigger. They did everything right with Rock N' Roll. Violent outbursts, drug addiction (hello and goodbye, Steven Adler!), inciting multiple riots, and kilts with baseball equipment as a shirt. Of course, problems started- most notably Axl going full-on batshit megalomaniac control freak- and the band began to lose its bravado. They released a terrible cover album that did feature a bitchin' cover of "Sympathy for the Devil," but the band soon had enough of Mr Rose. They pretty much all quit. Axl then began work on a 10+ year album, secluding himself from the public eye and recruiting Buckethead.
Fast-forward to 2011. Mainstream music is once again lobotomized. Pop acts are Auto-Tuning their way through more vapidity, wearing meat dresses and having their vaginas and wieners "unknowingly" photographed and thrown on the Interwebz. Rock music is ruled by the blandest of the bland like Nickelback, Daughtry, Disturbed et al- bands with ZERO to say and music boring and painful enough to lull one to sleep or lead one to a killing spree. There's zero substance, and yet they sell FUCKING BILLIONS. Axl & Co. must get together to save us. I don't ask for another Appetite for Destruction, though it would be nice. They just need to settle their differences and show the music world how shit gets done. And fast. Lose the cornrows, Axl, put on your kilt and "Charlie Don't Surf" tee, crab walk your way to Slash, Duff and Izzy before it's too late. That's all I ask. Seriously.
Fast forward to 1987. The popular music scene is just as lobotomized as it is today, if not more. With the exception of a few HUGE talents (Prince, Madonna, U2 et al), mainstream Top 40 radio and video is filled with vapid and vacuous "talents." Rock music is no better, to be honest. It's imbued with roving bands of fops who snorted, fucked and guzzled their way from the Sunset Strip and onto MTV (I blame you, Nikki Sixx). Then, like a saltwater crocodile stalking a dingo too close to the water's edge, Guns N' Roses emerges and proceeds to slaughter all that America thought it knew about Rock N' Roll.
The Gunners, like the aforementioned fops, came from the Strip. They also drank, fucked, and did hard drugs. What separated the Gunners from the other Sunset Strip bands was two things: songwriting and attitude. My guess would be that 99% of those bands wrote happy, catchy songs about girls and getting/being famous and money. Guns did not. They may have written about girls, like "Sweet Child O'Mine," the token ballad written for Axl's girlfriend Erin Everly; it was (and still is) a great tune with one of music's most memorable riffs. Then there was "My Michelle," a riff with so much testosterone that all the world's testicles combined cannot equal. Written about a friend of the band named Michelle who, upon hearing Elton John's "Your Song," wanted a song written about her. And the song is true. Junkies, porn stars, dead mothers, it's all true. In case you hadn't heard. Guns wrote about the shitty side of LA, sort of a Straight Outta Compton for white people. And they rightfully took over the fucking planet. They also struck the first blow to Hair Metal, as no one else had the chops or the balls to do what the Gunners did. They were too blues, too heavy, too punk.
Over the next six years, no one was bigger. They did everything right with Rock N' Roll. Violent outbursts, drug addiction (hello and goodbye, Steven Adler!), inciting multiple riots, and kilts with baseball equipment as a shirt. Of course, problems started- most notably Axl going full-on batshit megalomaniac control freak- and the band began to lose its bravado. They released a terrible cover album that did feature a bitchin' cover of "Sympathy for the Devil," but the band soon had enough of Mr Rose. They pretty much all quit. Axl then began work on a 10+ year album, secluding himself from the public eye and recruiting Buckethead.
Fast-forward to 2011. Mainstream music is once again lobotomized. Pop acts are Auto-Tuning their way through more vapidity, wearing meat dresses and having their vaginas and wieners "unknowingly" photographed and thrown on the Interwebz. Rock music is ruled by the blandest of the bland like Nickelback, Daughtry, Disturbed et al- bands with ZERO to say and music boring and painful enough to lull one to sleep or lead one to a killing spree. There's zero substance, and yet they sell FUCKING BILLIONS. Axl & Co. must get together to save us. I don't ask for another Appetite for Destruction, though it would be nice. They just need to settle their differences and show the music world how shit gets done. And fast. Lose the cornrows, Axl, put on your kilt and "Charlie Don't Surf" tee, crab walk your way to Slash, Duff and Izzy before it's too late. That's all I ask. Seriously.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Top Ten Favourite Vocal Performances
10. Bjork- "All is Full of Love" If I believed in angels, they'd sound like Bjork. And they'd be singing this song. Her vocal talents and down-right weirdness have made her a critic's darling since she fronted The Sugarcubes, though they've never been more beautifully displayed as they are on this track.
9. Jeff Mangum- "Two-Headed Boy"Does Jeff Mangum have a great voice? No. Quite frankly, it's barely passable for a lead vocalist. However, on "Two-Headed Boy," Mangum utilizes what prowess he has to turn a downright dirty song into a wonderful paean to young lust.
8. Burton Cummings- "These Eyes" What you have here is Canada's greatest vocalist and wearer of Canada's finest moustache on display. Cummings' vocals combined with his keyboard playing deliver a heartbreaking homage to relationships gone sour. The chorus alone can bring tears to your eyes.
7. David Bowie- "Lady Stardust" Ah, young Bowie and Ziggy Stardust. He's an icon in both music and fashion. Mr Bowie works his upper register for all its worth in his tribute to Marc Bolan, one of Rock N' Roll's most under-appreciated yet highly influential figures.
6. Carl Wilson- "God Only Knows" The French horns that open "God Only Knows" pave the way for Carl's anodyne delivery of Pop's greatest love song; a love song that begins with "I may not always love you." Brian Wilson was originally slated to take the reigns, but decided that Carl would sing it better, so he took the low end for the harmonies. That decision was possibly his greatest.
5. Maynard James Keenan- "Eulogy" Oh, Maynard. From the first time I heard you on the way to Six Flags Great America in 1993, I knew you were something special. I had never heard a voice like yours before. You hit your stride with the second track from Aenema, a great tribute to Bill Hicks, comedy's most vitriolic voice. The way you scream "Goodbye!"still blows my mind 15 years later.
4. Chris Cornell- "Call Me a Dog" Chris Cornell's voice may be able to shatter bulletproof glass. But for "Call Me a Dog" from Temple of the Dog's only album, he sings with soul and emotion like his name was Smokey Robinson. The whole album is a tribute to Andy Wood, Cornell's former roommate and lead vocalist for Mother Love Bone.
3. Jeff Buckley- "Lover, You Should've Come Over" While Buckley's cover of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" gets all the pub, "Lover, You Should've Over" is his answer to those who foolishly said his voice lacked soul. Those people were stupid. The only thing missing is Buckley's falsetto, which is simply unbeatable.
2. Freddie Mercury- "Somebody to Love" You can take your pick from just about everything Freddie sang over his career, you really can. Freddie CANNOT be touched when it comes to Rock vocalists. The most impressive thing about this tune is that Freddie sang EVERY MOTHERFUCKING WORD on this track, harmonies and all. And he was kind enough to play one hell of a piano throughout as well.
1. Sam Cooke- "A Change Is Gonna Come" The list was a countdown to this performance. Sam Cooke is THE VOICE, and anyone who says otherwise can get fucked. Cooke's posthumously released masterpiece about wanting social change and equality is the greatest three minute, thirteen second gift you can give your ears. The worst part is that Sam didn't live to see the deserved accolades the song has received since its release. But at least he gave the non-deaf a wonderful gift: his voice.
9. Jeff Mangum- "Two-Headed Boy"Does Jeff Mangum have a great voice? No. Quite frankly, it's barely passable for a lead vocalist. However, on "Two-Headed Boy," Mangum utilizes what prowess he has to turn a downright dirty song into a wonderful paean to young lust.
8. Burton Cummings- "These Eyes" What you have here is Canada's greatest vocalist and wearer of Canada's finest moustache on display. Cummings' vocals combined with his keyboard playing deliver a heartbreaking homage to relationships gone sour. The chorus alone can bring tears to your eyes.
7. David Bowie- "Lady Stardust" Ah, young Bowie and Ziggy Stardust. He's an icon in both music and fashion. Mr Bowie works his upper register for all its worth in his tribute to Marc Bolan, one of Rock N' Roll's most under-appreciated yet highly influential figures.
6. Carl Wilson- "God Only Knows" The French horns that open "God Only Knows" pave the way for Carl's anodyne delivery of Pop's greatest love song; a love song that begins with "I may not always love you." Brian Wilson was originally slated to take the reigns, but decided that Carl would sing it better, so he took the low end for the harmonies. That decision was possibly his greatest.
5. Maynard James Keenan- "Eulogy" Oh, Maynard. From the first time I heard you on the way to Six Flags Great America in 1993, I knew you were something special. I had never heard a voice like yours before. You hit your stride with the second track from Aenema, a great tribute to Bill Hicks, comedy's most vitriolic voice. The way you scream "Goodbye!"still blows my mind 15 years later.
4. Chris Cornell- "Call Me a Dog" Chris Cornell's voice may be able to shatter bulletproof glass. But for "Call Me a Dog" from Temple of the Dog's only album, he sings with soul and emotion like his name was Smokey Robinson. The whole album is a tribute to Andy Wood, Cornell's former roommate and lead vocalist for Mother Love Bone.
3. Jeff Buckley- "Lover, You Should've Come Over" While Buckley's cover of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" gets all the pub, "Lover, You Should've Over" is his answer to those who foolishly said his voice lacked soul. Those people were stupid. The only thing missing is Buckley's falsetto, which is simply unbeatable.
2. Freddie Mercury- "Somebody to Love" You can take your pick from just about everything Freddie sang over his career, you really can. Freddie CANNOT be touched when it comes to Rock vocalists. The most impressive thing about this tune is that Freddie sang EVERY MOTHERFUCKING WORD on this track, harmonies and all. And he was kind enough to play one hell of a piano throughout as well.
1. Sam Cooke- "A Change Is Gonna Come" The list was a countdown to this performance. Sam Cooke is THE VOICE, and anyone who says otherwise can get fucked. Cooke's posthumously released masterpiece about wanting social change and equality is the greatest three minute, thirteen second gift you can give your ears. The worst part is that Sam didn't live to see the deserved accolades the song has received since its release. But at least he gave the non-deaf a wonderful gift: his voice.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Turning Japanese
Unless you're blind, deaf, in a coma or are kept in a dimly lit dungeon, you know of the catastrophic Japanese earthquake and concomitant tsunami. Over 4300 people have been killed with somewhere near 10000 more missing. It's been called a "tragedy." It isn't. It's a natural disaster. Folks on the Interwebz have called it some sort of portent to End Times, the Second Coming and any other eschatological tripe that the Jesus lunatics believe. Then there's the situation at the Daiichi plant and its reactors, which is being used to scare Americans by being falsely reported.
Firstly, what is being spread by air as of early today is not radiation, it's contamination. There's a difference. It's known as "airborne contamination." And the levels in the air are nothing to worry about, especially if you're in America. The highest readings I've heard of thus far are 121mrem/hr near the site. Added up over time (time being spent outside), it can do some damage. Ten hours outdoors in a day would give you a bit over 1 R, which in my field, is 1/5 of the yearly limit imposed by the DOE. The evacuation area of 20km around the plant basically means residents are safe from being crapped up, for distance is a huge factor in protection from radiologically contaminated things, with distance and shielding.
Secondly, you need to know what kind of contamination is present. That's what I'm waiting to hear. I haven't heard word one if what's actually present-- alpha, beta, gamma or neutron. These things matter.
I read this afternoon about Americans on the west coast buying up potassium iodide pills to offset potential problems to the thyroid cause by radiation poisoning. America, even if there is a total meltdown, you have NOTHING TO FUCKING WORRY ABOUT. Could the Daiichi plant turn into another Chernobyl? Probably not. Why? Because Daiichi has something which Chernobyl was lacking: containment vessels. And those containment vessels are still in tact, doing their job containing the really bad shit. There would have to be a blast so strong that it destroys the vessels, which is highly unlikely. Even with winds, the shit in the air over Japan during and after this hypothetical meltdown would do no damage to the US. At most, you may get something barely above background. And my the way, you pick up on average 360mrem per year just by living (though some places it's much higher, like India). If you fly or microwave often, you'll pick up more. I work in the nuke industry doing demo; I pick up MUCH more than the normal human. I also fly 6-10 times per year, and every physical I've had has shown no anomalies. I would have zero problem leaving for Japan tomorrow to do decon work at the site.
So calm down, folks. Do some good and make a Red Cross donation to help the victims of the disaster. Send a care package. Try to learn something about radiation and radioactivity before jumping to conclusions and/or believing what news anchors and supposed "experts" tell you.
Firstly, what is being spread by air as of early today is not radiation, it's contamination. There's a difference. It's known as "airborne contamination." And the levels in the air are nothing to worry about, especially if you're in America. The highest readings I've heard of thus far are 121mrem/hr near the site. Added up over time (time being spent outside), it can do some damage. Ten hours outdoors in a day would give you a bit over 1 R, which in my field, is 1/5 of the yearly limit imposed by the DOE. The evacuation area of 20km around the plant basically means residents are safe from being crapped up, for distance is a huge factor in protection from radiologically contaminated things, with distance and shielding.
Secondly, you need to know what kind of contamination is present. That's what I'm waiting to hear. I haven't heard word one if what's actually present-- alpha, beta, gamma or neutron. These things matter.
I read this afternoon about Americans on the west coast buying up potassium iodide pills to offset potential problems to the thyroid cause by radiation poisoning. America, even if there is a total meltdown, you have NOTHING TO FUCKING WORRY ABOUT. Could the Daiichi plant turn into another Chernobyl? Probably not. Why? Because Daiichi has something which Chernobyl was lacking: containment vessels. And those containment vessels are still in tact, doing their job containing the really bad shit. There would have to be a blast so strong that it destroys the vessels, which is highly unlikely. Even with winds, the shit in the air over Japan during and after this hypothetical meltdown would do no damage to the US. At most, you may get something barely above background. And my the way, you pick up on average 360mrem per year just by living (though some places it's much higher, like India). If you fly or microwave often, you'll pick up more. I work in the nuke industry doing demo; I pick up MUCH more than the normal human. I also fly 6-10 times per year, and every physical I've had has shown no anomalies. I would have zero problem leaving for Japan tomorrow to do decon work at the site.
So calm down, folks. Do some good and make a Red Cross donation to help the victims of the disaster. Send a care package. Try to learn something about radiation and radioactivity before jumping to conclusions and/or believing what news anchors and supposed "experts" tell you.
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